Advice of the Day: Define a Liar

Yes it is a lie and deceitful to have a friend you speak to [of the opposite sex] on occasion or once every blue moon that the other person in the relationship has no idea about. If you can not have the conversation in front of your partner or can just say hey I talked to "Bri" today on GP then yes there is something to hide.

You are probably thinking gosh the insecurity there?! I don't give 3, 2, or 1 damn if that's what you think. Let me tell you something

I was in a relationship for many years with a dude and for those years I never knew of his "friendship" with a woman who both of us know (given him more than me obviously). Although according to him they spoke on occasion, yearly, monthly - bullshit I never found this out until we "broke up" one of probably 20 other times. Yeah it truly crushed me and made me feel deceived to the point where I was in tears. Not because he has a friend who happens to be female but because it didn't have to be a secret which then posed the question to me, about me "Am I that bad that it can't be shared?"

Honestly I wouldn't have an issue with the friendship, since I have male friends who are strictly platonic in my life (though they may have tried it once and failed to be more), but why not tell someone about it unless there is actually someTHING to hide? There should not be a person in the relationship in the dark since you chose to journey through your time together. Even the most cruel things should be shared - I respect you more for the honesty.

#99 of shit not acceptable in future relationships.