Although I try to be gracious of each day, breath and second I am blessed to wake up to experience I am at a point in my day to day where I find myself with lonely-girl problems. This is the longest I have been without a relationship to help provide a "title" or give me "something" to help define me. I know that's not healthy - But this is the longest I have been left to define....ME.
Dammit I turn 30 this year shouldn't I be more confident when I look in the mirror. Not confident about the exterior - I am very much appreciative of the reflection in the mirror. It's the innermost of me that I question in these lonely-girl times. The lonely-girl times......when your highlight is going to work and without going to work you would probably never put a mile on your car or do much outside of decorate your 1-bedroom condo (which by the way you have decorated to the max at this point).
At 30, I imagined at least a mini-me running around, better financially sound plans in the works, strong arms to come home and comfort. Those small things that at the end of the day you can smile about because those are things when you take you last breath will share your legacy, your story - who you are.
I'm guilty like most humans...overlooking all the "right" happening in my life. I have been in Chicago for almost 9 years and able to maintain my employment and way of life - even though I have check to check moments, a circle of friendship/framily who I can call on and be welcomed with open arms, my health, my sanity - for what its worth and another year the Lord has blessed me to see.
#OnlyHuman
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