Slim and I went through a break a couple of years ago, well it was mainly me because every so often I just get tired of the same shit and got to change up my game to keep him on his toes. I am so predictable sometimes.
Anywho -
For a couple of weeks I had started hanging with my coworkers a lot more after I got the job downtown and we all grew a bit closer. On weekends we would hang out South since one of my co-workers (Yo) and gotten recently engaged and married. No issue, we don't mind driving all those miles past the freaking Dixie Hwy sign on what looks like we are on the road to Iowa. I mean seriously who lives that damn far south and works in the city. (I didn't know at the time but many people do *shrugs*).
One particular weekend we went to a place out in South Holland where they serve the best fried chicken and have the smallest dancer floors ever, lol. I digress. We had an awesome time and I even brought a sub sandwich from her uncle's trunk later. Yo's husband is in the blue collar field and so are all of his friends. Yo knew about my recent problems with Slim and asked her husband to bring a couple of his homies to the club to be paraded like meat until I picked one so we could all chill and I can stop talking about Slim. Anywho he decides to bring a guy....Rob out with him. Rob was in a similar situation where he was at the end of a relationship but not really.
Rob was definitely not my type and definitely could have used some breath mints but after several a few drinks I relaxed and found Rob to be very ambitious, educated and a bit more cute. We talked about our relationships and what we felt had gone wrong. He had been having a helluva time trying to shake this woman who was 6 years older than him, with three kids and a divorce under her belt. But he still loved her to an extent and wanted to make it work. I definitely encouraged it. So we exchanged numbers and went about our business, sub sandwich in hand from the truck of Unc's car. Yo's friends thought all her work friends were bougie.
Interestingly enough Rob reached out to Yo who gave him advice because in her words "He knows he has to approach you different and court you differently than these uneducated hoes out South"
Within two days of us meeting I had a flower delivery at my job.....from Rob! Wow, it made my day. No one had ever sent me flowers to work (outside of myself and my co-workers on special occasions) - Not even Slim. So I texted and thanked him for the flower and note.
Time flies we all go out to Dave and Buster's in the City and chill for the evening. Rob is there we play a couple of games. His breathe still stinks but he is good company at a distance. (I am real funny about people's breath, lol). We begin a texting relationship, harmless never talking about anything inappropriate or even contemplating....well every time he brought up something sexual I would change the subject too quick for him to assume whatever he said would ever happen.
3 months later -
On a trip back to D.C. in which I was driving that 10 hours alone I get a phone call. Now let me remind you I had been up at 5:30am....at work by 8:00am (I caught the Metra at the time)....off work at 5:00....back on the train by 5:32 and finally home by quarter to 7:00pm, then I hit the road D.C. around 10:00pm. The call came from an Indiana area code, Rob is in Indiana okay I pick up......its from Tiffany - Rob's ex/current/IDAF girlfriend(?)
Hi can I speak to [insert government name which is hard to pronounce]
Yes this is [insert government name pronounced correctly], how may I help you?
This Tiffany, Rob's girlfriend who he lives with....
Okay Tiffany How are you?
Well I was looking through Rob's phone and saw a text from someone in Chicago (I have a Chicago area code) talking about thanks for flowers.
Yeah I sent him a text to say thank you....
So what's going on with y'all?
Tiffany, look I am sure you may have been caught off guard but you have to ask Rob these questions. I do not have a physical or even emotional relationship with him. We are simply cool. Plus he is not my type (why did I say this?)
Well he still lives here and just asked me to have sex with him.
Okay Tiffany, well I am driving a really long distance right now and am extremely tired right now. So you all have a great night.
[insert government name] he told me he didn't know who you are and you are just someone who wants to hook up with him.
*Did anyone else catch that up there - did you hear yourself Tiffany??*
Okay Tiffany that's fine as I said it was nothing anyway. He is not my type he was just cool.
*insert needless facts about their sex life and his money/cars and what she is doing with it. I don't know why I entertained this hoodrat at all but she kept me awake for a while because of the foolishness*
Tiffany I have to go it's late and I still have a couple hours of driving I have to do. I hope things work out for y'all.
It was nice talking to you [insert my government name], if he contacts you again please call me at 219-Tiffany
*Sigh*....what is it again?
219-T-I-F-F-A-N-Y, my name.
Okay *hangs up*
I cracked up about this hoodratchedness for a good 40 miles and throughout the rest of the 500mi I had left in my journey.
I spoke to Rob one more time and told him don't ever allow/have his bish call me again and he needed to get his life together
Interestingly enough Rob reached out to Yo who gave him advice because in her words "He knows he has to approach you different and court you differently than these uneducated hoes out South"
Within two days of us meeting I had a flower delivery at my job.....from Rob! Wow, it made my day. No one had ever sent me flowers to work (outside of myself and my co-workers on special occasions) - Not even Slim. So I texted and thanked him for the flower and note.
Time flies we all go out to Dave and Buster's in the City and chill for the evening. Rob is there we play a couple of games. His breathe still stinks but he is good company at a distance. (I am real funny about people's breath, lol). We begin a texting relationship, harmless never talking about anything inappropriate or even contemplating....well every time he brought up something sexual I would change the subject too quick for him to assume whatever he said would ever happen.
3 months later -
On a trip back to D.C. in which I was driving that 10 hours alone I get a phone call. Now let me remind you I had been up at 5:30am....at work by 8:00am (I caught the Metra at the time)....off work at 5:00....back on the train by 5:32 and finally home by quarter to 7:00pm, then I hit the road D.C. around 10:00pm. The call came from an Indiana area code, Rob is in Indiana okay I pick up......its from Tiffany - Rob's ex/current/IDAF girlfriend(?)
Hi can I speak to [insert government name which is hard to pronounce]
Yes this is [insert government name pronounced correctly], how may I help you?
This Tiffany, Rob's girlfriend who he lives with....
Okay Tiffany How are you?
Well I was looking through Rob's phone and saw a text from someone in Chicago (I have a Chicago area code) talking about thanks for flowers.
Yeah I sent him a text to say thank you....
So what's going on with y'all?
Tiffany, look I am sure you may have been caught off guard but you have to ask Rob these questions. I do not have a physical or even emotional relationship with him. We are simply cool. Plus he is not my type (why did I say this?)
Well he still lives here and just asked me to have sex with him.
Okay Tiffany, well I am driving a really long distance right now and am extremely tired right now. So you all have a great night.
[insert government name] he told me he didn't know who you are and you are just someone who wants to hook up with him.
*Did anyone else catch that up there - did you hear yourself Tiffany??*
Okay Tiffany that's fine as I said it was nothing anyway. He is not my type he was just cool.
*insert needless facts about their sex life and his money/cars and what she is doing with it. I don't know why I entertained this hoodrat at all but she kept me awake for a while because of the foolishness*
Tiffany I have to go it's late and I still have a couple hours of driving I have to do. I hope things work out for y'all.
It was nice talking to you [insert my government name], if he contacts you again please call me at 219-Tiffany
*Sigh*....what is it again?
219-T-I-F-F-A-N-Y, my name.
Okay *hangs up*
I cracked up about this hoodratchedness for a good 40 miles and throughout the rest of the 500mi I had left in my journey.
I spoke to Rob one more time and told him don't ever allow/have his bish call me again and he needed to get his life together
Moral of the story - Ladies please check your man not the woman.
2 comments:
Ha!!!
LMAO@2-1-9-Tiffany!= NW Indiana Trash
LMAO@uneducated hoes out South!
Girrrrrrrrl! You have me crackin up at work! I swear I've heard it all! Your stories are so colorful. Very good lesson to the story even though I have been guilty of this messy ish on numerous occasions. Not as messy as 219-Tiffany tho!
Thanks girl, this was the first time I had ever encountered this type of issue. The most shocking part is this woman/girl/childminded individual was 7 years older than me and someone's momma! So they breeding hoodrats now! Like for real this is what Indiana is about? #cantbelife
I learned you can tell alot about a person by looking at the person they previously dated. Rob was as dumb as bricks too because I heard recently Tiffany got him thrown in jail.....
Glad you enjoyed this story :)
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